Coping With Its Effects
LYING in a hospital bed with paralyzed limbs, Gilbert asked his doctor: “Will I ever regain use of my arm and my leg?” Gilbert heard the challenging response: “The harder you work, the more you will get back, and the quicker you will do it.” He replied: “I’m ready!” Physical therapy coupled with a positive outlook led him, at age 65, from a wheelchair to a walker, then to a cane and back to work.
“Most of today’s poststroke rehabilitation supports the notion that if one area of the brain is damaged, other centers can assume the role of the injured tissue. One purpose of therapy is to both bring out the potential of these uninvolved centers and provide the stimulation to permit the brain to reorganize and adapt,” state researchers Weiner, Lee, and Bell. However, recovery is determined by other factors too, such as the site and the severity of the stroke, the general health of the individual, the quality of medical care, and the support of others.
Support of Family and Friends
Erikka engaged in rehabilitative exercises for three years, learning to walk and to use her right hand to compensate for her disabled left hand. She tells what enabled her to cope: “The most important thing was that my husband and my friends remained loyal to me. To know that they loved me gave me strength, and when they encouraged me not to give up, that motivated me.”
Family members become partners in the recovery process of their loved ones. They need to ask questions of medical personnel and observe therapies that may need to be continued at home so as not to lose the gains already made. The patience, kindness, understanding, and affection shown by family members and friends provide a secure emotional environment in which to relearn speech, reading, and other skills of daily living.
Striking a balance between pushing and coddling, John worked hard helping his wife Ellen with exercise and therapy. He describes his family’s efforts: “We wouldn’t let Ellen sink into the depths of self-pity. At times we were hard taskmasters, but we always monitored her limitations and gave assistance. She is more sensitive, so I make an effort not to cause her stress.”
As Ellen learned how to speak again with the help of a speech therapist, John assisted her. “Doing things together was a means of encouragement, so we would read the Bible aloud to each other, which helped improve her speech. Also, taking it slowly at first, we engaged in the ministry, as we are Jehovah’s Witnesses. In this way Ellen could share with others the hope we have for the future. This was a therapy in itself for Ellen.” By the end of three years, Ellen had improved greatly.
The encouragement and strength that friends can impart should never be underestimated, as they can have a tremendous effect on a stroke survivor’s recovery. The medical journal Stroke reported that higher “levels of social support were found to be predictive of a more rapid rate of recovery and a greater amount of overall improvement in functioning, even among patients with more severe stroke.”
Bernie appreciated very much the support that his friends gave him. He reminds us: “The visits of friends are vital in coping. A sympathetic voice and a caring attitude lift the morale. Though one need not dwell on the person’s disability, recognition of any improvement is very encouraging.” What might all of us do to lend support to those coping with the aftermath of a stroke? “Take some flowers,” suggests Bernie, “or share a Scriptural thought or experience. That was of great help to me.”
Melva, an elderly stroke survivor, found it helpful to have one of her spiritual brothers pray with her. Gilbert also recommends this, explaining: “It shows that you really care enough when you pray with someone.” Peter, whose stroke left him with impaired vision, appreciates it when others understand his limitations and take the time to read to him.
Assisting one to and from rehabilitation is also a loving gesture. Making sure that the stroke victim’s home is a safe place is necessary too. Falling is a constant threat when balance is a problem. Gilbert, for example, appreciated the kindly help of friends who, among other things, installed a grab bar in his shower for safety.
Learning to Render Support
Mood swings and a heightened tendency to cry can be embarrassing for the stroke victim, as well as disconcerting to onlookers who may not know how to respond. However, learning to be supportive, friends can rescue a stroke victim from the isolation that may otherwise result. Usually, crying spells become less frequent. But when tears come, remain calm and stay by the person, saying what you would like to hear if your roles were reversed.
Above all, cultivate godly love for those whose impairments may have changed the personality you once knew. They sense how you feel, and that, in turn, affects their response to you. Erikka comments: “I may never be the same person again. But no one should demand that of a stroke victim. Relatives and friends should learn to love the person as he or she is. If they carefully rummage around in his or her personality, they will discover that the most attractive qualities of the past are still there.”
Self-respect dips to a low point when one is unable to talk or be understood. By making the effort to talk with them, friends can affirm the worth of those whose speech is impaired. Takashi states: “What I think and feel at heart has not changed. However, people tend to avoid contact with me because they can’t hold a normal conversation with me. It’s hard for me to approach people, but when someone comes up to talk to me, it is a tremendous encouragement and makes me very, very happy!”
The following are some guidelines that can help all of us to support and encourage those who suffer speech impairments.
Most strokes do not affect the intellect. Most people who survive a stroke remain mentally alert, even though their speech may be difficult to understand. Never speak down to them or resort to baby talk. Treat them with dignity.
Listen patiently. They may need time to reorganize a thought or finish a word, phrase, or sentence. Remember, the most caring listener is not in a hurry to hear.
Do not pretend to understand if you don’t. Kindly admit: “I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to understand. Let’s try again later.”
Speak slowly and clearly in a normal tone of voice.
Use short sentences and familiar words.
Use questions that elicit a yes or a no, and encourage response. Keep in mind that they may be unable to comprehend your words.
Keep background noise down.
